Life, Liberty, and……
Last week, you may recall, I wrote a nice piece about how people in these United States are too sensitive about things and theorized about why I believe that state of affairs exists.
My closing statement went something like this: “I’m sorry, if the idea that I want America to be great offends you, that must mean that you want America to fail. Listen up, June-bug, that irritates me, because the people that want America to fail are our enemies.”
Yeah. And apparently the term ‘June-bug’ is a trigger for at least one of my readers, who wrote to me, in a rather caustic manner, insulting not just me, but Connie, my lovely and gracious wife. Therefore, this week, my guest columnist will be Dewayne ‘June-Bug’ Johnson, from parts unknown, and I quote:
You watch too much Fox News and I’m sick of hearing your opinion. You make it look like people that think like me are stupid, but that’s not true. For all intensive purposes, I’m just as smart as you think you are and I can prove it.
First of all, President Trump is a racist, and I know that because he wants to build a border wall on our border. People take for granite the fact that illegal immigration is like illegal drugs. If you make the drugs legal, then you won't have a problem enforcing all them drug laws. So, if we make it legal for people to come here illegally, then illegal immigration won’t be a problem.
President Trump also hates women. I know that because one time he said something mean to Rosie O’Donnell. Don’t be fooled by the stories on Fox News that women’s unemployment is lower than it has been in sixty something years, that’s not true, and I know that because President Trump said it.
If you want America to be great again, we need another president like President Obama. He openly admitted that he smoked pot and did other drugs when he was in college and younger. President Trump don’t even drink liquor and that’s downright un-American.
Also, for America to be great, we need a great government, one that gives lots of things to the voters. We need more people collecting unemployment checks and more people on welfare because, the government can’t do things for people if they’re doing things for themselves, like earning money and buying houses.
And another thing, We know President Trump only won because the Russians rigged our election. Just because the FBI has investigated him for the last two years and not found anything just proves that he’s really good at covering his tracks, is all.
Just look at all of his people who are going to jail for lying to federal investigators and lying to congress. I think anyone that lies to the FBI or to congress ought to be in jail. That would really show the people in America who really wants America to be great.
Finally, just look at what Nancy Pelosi said, that it wasn’t worth it to try and impeach President Trump. Doesn’t that tell you anything? It tells me a lot but I’m not going to take the time to explain it to you. I know you probably won’t even read this, much less talk about it in the paper, but I feel better just knowing that I’ve set the record straight.
Sincerely, Dewayne June-Bug Johnson.”
Thank you, Mr. Johnson. We’ve certainly cleared up the issue about whether or not people are too sensitive these days.
In closing, let me quote my father, who said, “Son, a bit dog always hollers.”
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain.
I hope you enjoy.
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